Yesterday, I was scrolling through my phone when I came across a hilarious video of a man trying to walk across a thin rope while crocodiles snapped at him from below. But what really caught my attention was a comment that read:

"This is exactly what parenting feels like—trying to balance everything while hoping not to drown."

It might sound a bit dramatic, but there are days when parenting feels just like that. You wake up exhausted, rush through the day, and fall into bed wondering if you got anything right. 

It is not just the physical tiredness. It is the mental and emotional load. The endless decision-making, the constant problem-solving, the pressure to be on all the time. And let us be honest, sometimes the little things set you off. A broken plate should not feel like the end of the world, but when you are already running on fumes, it is enough to push you over the edge.

Parenting is not easy, and no one talks enough about how overwhelming it can get. But feeling overwhelmed does not mean you are failing. It just means you need a breather. And the first step to regaining control is recognizing the signs that you are running on empty. 

In this blog post, we will talk about five common signs that you are overwhelmed as a parent and what you can do to lighten the load, regain your balance, and be yourself again.

5 Common Signs You are Overwhelmed

1. Snapping at the Smallest Things

You tell your child one simple thing: "Put your shoes away." Instead of doing it, they drop them in the middle of the floor. And suddenly, you are fuming. Not just mildly annoyed but really angry, as if they just set fire to the house.

Deep down, you know it is not just about the shoes. It is about everything else building up: the dishes piling up in the sink, the deadlines at work, the laundry that never ends, the fact that you can’t even remember the last time you had a full night’s sleep. The shoes are just the final straw.

When you are overwhelmed, your patience shrinks. You might feel guilty afterward, thinking, Why did I get so angry over something so small? But it is not just about that moment, it is about the exhaustion, the stress, and the feeling of carrying too much.

What You Can Do:

• Pause before reacting: When you feel yourself about to snap, take a deep breath. Count to five before responding. Even stepping away for a moment can make a difference.
  
  
• Identify your stress triggers: Are you always more irritable at certain times of the day? Maybe right before dinner when everyone’s hungry? Once you spot patterns, you can plan ahead, maybe have easy snacks on hand or step outside for fresh air before handling a chaotic moment.
  
  
• Give yourself grace: You are not a bad parent for losing your temper. It happens. When you do snap, apologize if needed, but also move forward without guilt. Children learn from how we handle stress, not just from how we avoid it.

2. Feeling Like you are Failing at Everything

You wake up in the morning with a mental list of things you should do: get the children ready, handle work, cook a healthy meal, make time for them, clean the house, maybe even squeeze in some self-care. But by the end of the day, all you see are the things you didn’t do.

Maybe dinner got burnt, or you forgot about an important school assignment. And suddenly, it feels like you are failing, not just in one area, but in everything.

That little voice in your head tells you other parents have it together, that you should be doing more, that you are somehow not enough. The truth? That voice is lying. Parenting is not about perfection. It is about showing up, even when it is messy.

What You Can Do:

• Shift your focus: Instead of ending the day thinking about what you missed, remind yourself of what you did manage. You comforted your child after a bad dream. You made them laugh. You showed up, and that matters more than any unchecked to-do list.
  
  
• Set realistic expectations. You are one person, not a superhero. Some days, the house will be messy. Some days, dinner will be whatever’s easiest. That does not make you a failure; it makes you human.
• Remind yourself that your children don’t need perfection. They don’t need a perfect house, a perfectly balanced meal, or a parent who never struggles. They just need you. Messy, tired, and all.

3. You Have No Time for Yourself

You love your children. You love your family. But some days, it feels like every single minute belongs to someone else. From the moment you wake up to the time everyone is finally asleep, you are too drained to do anything for yourself.

And that is when it sneaks in—the resentment.

It is not that you don’t want to care for your family. You do. But deep down, you also want a moment to do something that is just for you. Maybe you miss reading a book, going out with friends, or just sitting in silence without someone needing you. And then, when you finally get a free moment, you feel guilty for even wanting time alone.

That is the tricky thing about parenting burnout. It convinces you that needing space is selfish. But it is not. It is necessary.

What You Can Do:

• Start small: You don’t need a full weekend getaway (though that would be nice). Even 15-30 minutes of doing something just for you: listening to music, taking a walk, or journaling, can help.
  
  
• Communicate your needs: If you are feeling stretched too thin, let your partner, family, or support system know. Even saying, "I need 30 minutes to myself today," is a step toward balance.
  
• Stop feeling guilty for taking a break: You wouldn’t expect your child to function without rest, so why do you expect it from yourself? Taking time for yourself isn’t neglecting your family. It is making sure you have the energy to keep showing up for them.

4. You are Constantly Exhausted (Even After Sleeping)

You manage to get a full night’s sleep (or at least something close to it), but when morning comes, you still feel bone-tired. It is as if you never actually rested.

It is the kind of exhaustion that lingers. The kind that makes even small tasks feel overwhelming. The kind where you wake up already counting down the hours until bedtime.

Albeit parenting is exhausting, when you feel this tired all the time, it is a sign that you are running on empty.

What You Can Do:

• Check in with yourself: Are you getting enough sleep, or are you up late scrolling, catching up on chores, or simply struggling to switch off? Sometimes, "exhaustion" isn’t just about sleep. It is about carrying too much mentally.
  
  
• Prioritize rest, not just sleep: Rest isn’t just closing your eyes at night. It is letting yourself slow down during the day, taking a break when you need it, asking for help, and not feeling like you have to "earn" rest.
  
  
• Make small adjustments: Sometimes, exhaustion is your body’s way of saying, “Something needs to change.” Maybe that is drinking more water, exercising more, or eating nourishing meals.
  
  

If you feel drained even after sleeping, it is a sign you need more than rest. You need to recharge. And that starts with giving yourself permission to pause, to let go of the pressure to do it all, and to take care of yourself the way you take care of everyone else.

5. You Feel Disconnected from Your children

You are there physically. Helping with homework, making dinner, tucking them in at night. But emotionally? You feel miles away.

You listen to their stories, but your mind is elsewhere, running through to-do lists or worrying about everything that still needs to be done. You sit next to them, but instead of feeling connected, you feel… detached. And then the guilt hits.

"I should be more present."
"Why do I feel so distant from my own child?"
"Am I failing as a parent?"

It is a painful cycle. Feeling overwhelmed makes it harder to connect, and feeling disconnected makes the overwhelm worse.

But here is the truth: feeling disconnected does not mean you love your child any less. It does not mean you are failing. It just means you are stretched thin, and your emotional energy is running low. And like a phone on low battery, you need to recharge before you can fully engage again.

What You Can Do:

• Start with small moments: Instead of forcing long bonding sessions, focus on tiny, meaningful moments, five minutes of undivided attention, a hug, a shared joke. Quality matters more than quantity.
  
  
• Take care of yourself: It is hard to pour into your child’s emotional cup when yours is empty. Give yourself grace. Take yourself out if you need it. Prioritize your well-being.
  
  
• Be honest: If your child senses something is off, it is okay to say, “I’ve been really tired lately, but I love you so much, and I want to spend time with you.” children appreciate honesty more than we realize.

The Good News

Parenting is hard. And some days, it feels like too much. You feel like you are failing. You crave alone time but feel guilty about it. If this sounds familiar, take a deep breath. You are not alone.

Feeling overwhelmed does not make you a bad parent. It means you are a human. One who loves deeply, gives endlessly, and sometimes, needs a break.

The best thing you can do? Be kind to yourself. Ask for help when you need it. Let go of the pressure to do everything perfectly. Your children don’t need a flawless parent. They need you. And even on your hardest days, you are doing better than you think.

Every parent has their own way of raising their child. Some parents are strict, enforcing rules with no room for negotiation. Others take a more relaxed approach, allowing their children to make most of their own decisions. 

Most of the time, the way we parent is shaped by how we were raised, our personal beliefs, and what we think is best for our child. But here is the thing, our parenting style does not just affect how our child behaves today. It plays a big role in shaping their confidence, how they handle emotions, their relationships with others, and even their future success.

Parenting is not a one-size-fits-all journey, and no single approach works for every child. However, understanding different parenting styles can help you reflect on your own methods and make changes where needed.

In this post, we will explore the four major parenting styles and look at their benefits, drawbacks, and what parents should keep in mind when using each approach. 

By the end, you will have a clearer understanding of how your parenting style affects your child and what you can do to create the best possible environment for them to grow and thrive.

The Authoritarian Parenting Style

Imagine a household where the rules are set in stone and there is no room for discussion. A child who questions a rule is met with, “Because I said so.” This is the core of authoritarian parenting: a strict, high-expectation approach where obedience is valued above all else.

Parents with this style believe discipline is the foundation of a child’s success. They set firm rules and expect their child to follow them without questioning or negotiating. Consequences for breaking the rules are often harsh because the focus is on obedience rather than understanding. These parents typically have high expectations for their child’s academic performance, behavior, and overall discipline.

Pros of Authoritarian Parenting

• Creates structure and discipline: Children in authoritarian households grow up knowing what is expected of them. This structure can provide a sense of stability.
  
  
• Encourages responsibility: Because strict rules are in place, children often learn to be responsible for their actions and to meet high expectations.
  
  
• Teaches respect for authority: Children raised in this environment often understand the importance of rules and respecting authority figures.

Cons of Authoritarian Parenting

• Lack of emotional connection: Children may feel distant from their parents because communication is often one-sided, with little space for emotional support or open discussions.
  
  
• Low self-esteem: Since mistakes are often met with punishment rather than guidance, children may grow up feeling like they are never good enough.
  
• Difficulty making decisions: Because authoritarian parents make most decisions for their child, the child may struggle with independent thinking and problem-solving.

Things to Consider

Authoritarian parenting works well for enforcing discipline, but it can come at the cost of emotional closeness. Children raised in overly strict environments may follow rules, but they may also grow up fearing failure or struggling with self-confidence. If you lean toward this parenting style, consider softening the approach by allowing more open discussions and giving your child a chance to express their thoughts. Rather than simply punishing mistakes, try explaining the reason behind the rules. This way, your child learns not just to obey but to understand the importance of their actions.

The Permissive Parenting Style

Picture a home where a child can stay up as late as they want, eat whatever they like, and rarely face consequences for their actions. If they misbehave, their parent might sigh, “Children will be children.” This is permissive parenting: an approach where rules are flexible, discipline is minimal, and the focus is on being a supportive, loving friend rather than an authority figure.

Permissive parents are warm, affectionate, and deeply invested in their child’s happiness. They rarely say no, hoping to avoid conflict or emotional distress. While this creates a nurturing environment where the child feels loved and free to express themselves, it can also lead to a lack of structure and accountability.

Pros of Permissive Parenting

• Strong emotional bond: Children raised by permissive parents often feel deeply loved and supported. They know their parents are there for them, no matter what.
  
  
• Encourages creativity and independence: With fewer restrictions, children are free to explore their interests and express themselves without fear of strict consequences.
  
  
• Less stress in the home: Because there are fewer rules and conflicts, the household may feel more relaxed and harmonious.

Cons of Permissive Parenting

• Lack of boundaries: Children may struggle with self-control and discipline since they are rarely held accountable for their actions.
  
  
• Difficulty respecting authority: Without clear rules at home, children may find it challenging to follow rules in school or later in life.
  
  
• Struggles with responsibility: Since permissive parents often shield their children from consequences, children may struggle with personal responsibility, from completing homework to managing their emotions.

Things to Consider

Being a loving and supportive parent is crucial, but children also need guidance and boundaries. Without them, they may grow up without the discipline and responsibility they need to navigate life. If you lean toward permissive parenting, consider adding more structure. Set gentle but firm rules and follow through with consequences when needed. Your child can still express themselves freely, but they should also learn that actions have consequences. It is possible to be both warm and firm at the same time.

The Neglectful Parenting Style

Imagine a household where a child largely fends for themselves. No one checks their homework, asks how their day went, or enforces bedtime. They are free to do as they please, not because their parents want to empower them but because their parents are largely uninvolved.

Neglectful parenting, also known as uninvolved parenting, is characterized by emotional distance, lack of supervision, and minimal communication. It is not always intentional, some parents struggle with demanding jobs, financial stress, or their own unresolved emotional issues. Others assume their child is independent enough to handle life on their own. While some independence is good, children who lack guidance and emotional support often feel disconnected, unimportant, and directionless.

Pros of Neglectful Parenting

• Encourages self-sufficiency: Some children learn to be highly independent because they have no choice but to rely on themselves.
  
  
• No pressure to meet unrealistic expectations: Without constant oversight, children may feel less pressure to meet high standards.
  

Cons of Neglectful Parenting

• Emotional and behavioral struggles: Children who don’t receive enough attention and care may develop low self-esteem, anxiety, or difficulty forming healthy relationships.
  
  
• Poor academic performance: Without parental involvement, children may struggle to stay motivated in school and complete tasks on their own.
  
  
• Risky behavior: A lack of guidance can lead to poor decision-making, as children may not understand consequences or have anyone to turn to for advice.

Things to Consider

Children need a sense of security and connection. Even if life is busy or overwhelming, small moments of attention, like asking about their day or helping with a problem, can make a huge difference. If you tend to be more hands-off, consider setting aside intentional time for your child. It does not have to be hours every day; even a few meaningful interactions can provide the support they need to feel valued and guided. Balancing independence with involvement is key.

The Authoritative Parenting Style

Now, imagine a home where rules exist, but they are reasonable and well-explained. A child is encouraged to express their thoughts, but they also understand that certain expectations must be met. If they break a rule, there are consequences, but those consequences are fair and consistent. This is authoritative parenting. It is widely considered the most effective and balanced approach.

Authoritative parents combine warmth and structure. They set clear expectations but allow room for discussion. Their children know they are loved, but they also understand that actions have consequences.

Pros of Authoritative Parenting

• Encourages confidence and independence: Children raised with clear rules and open communication learn to think for themselves while respecting boundaries.
  
  
• Fosters emotional intelligence: These children are often better at understanding and managing emotions because they grow up in a home where feelings are acknowledged and discussed.
  
  
• Leads to better academic and social outcomes: Studies show that children raised with authoritative parenting tend to do better in school, have stronger friendships, and make healthier life choices.

Cons of Authoritative Parenting

• Requires patience and consistency: This approach takes time and effort because it involves ongoing communication and understanding.
  
  
• Can be emotionally demanding for parents: Balancing discipline with warmth means parents have to be intentional and engaged, which can sometimes feel exhausting.

Things to Consider

If you strive to be an authoritative parent, consistency is key. Setting rules and enforcing them fairly while also allowing your child to voice their thoughts creates an environment of trust. It is okay to let your child negotiate at times, but they also need to understand that certain rules are non-negotiable. This approach prepares them for the real world, where they will have to balance freedom with responsibility.

What now?

No parenting style is perfect, and there is no such thing as a flawless parent. If you see yourself leaning too much toward one extreme: whether too strict, too lenient, or too uninvolved, there is always room to adjust. Children thrive in homes where they feel both secure and heard, where they understand expectations but also feel loved unconditionally.

At the end of the day, parenting is about growth for both you and your child. The goal is not to control every aspect of their lives but to guide them toward becoming confident, responsible, and emotionally healthy individuals. No matter where you are in your parenting journey, the fact that you are reflecting on your approach means you are already doing something right. Keep learning, keep adjusting, and most importantly, keep showing up for your child. That is what truly makes a difference.

When Tunde was a child, he dreamed of being an artist. He loved sketching superheroes, painting colorful landscapes, and creating comic strips. But his parents had a different vision for him. “Drawing is just a hobby,” they would say. “You need a real career.” 

They encouraged him to focus on science, constantly reminding him that success meant becoming a doctor like his uncle. Eventually, Tunde stopped drawing altogether. He focused on academics, got the grades his parents wanted, and followed the career path they had planned. But something always felt missing. Now, as a father, Tunde finds himself worrying; what if he is doing the same thing to his own children?

Many parents struggle with this. They love their children deeply and want the best for them, but sometimes, that desire turns into pressure. They see their children’s successes and failures as reflections of their own parenting. If their child excels, they feel proud. If their child struggles, they feel like they have failed too.

This is not to judge any parent. After all, most of these expectations come from a place of love. But when children feel constant pressure to meet unrealistic standards, they can become anxious, unmotivated, or even resentful. Others even rebel the moment they gain independence.

So, how do you know if your expectations are lifting your child up or weighing them down? In this post, we will explore the different types of parental expectations, where they come from, and how to set healthier goals that help children grow into confident, capable individuals.

Understanding Different Types of Parenting Expectations

Every parent has expectations for their child; it is natural. But not all expectations affect children the same way. Some motivate and encourage, while others feel like an impossible burden.

Let us take a closer look at the different types of parental expectations and how they can impact a child’s growth and self-esteem.

1. Academic Expectations

From an early age, children hear how important school is. Parents encourage good grades, high test scores, and advanced degrees because they believe education is the key to success. There is nothing wrong with valuing academics, but when the pressure to be top of the class outweighs a child’s ability to learn at their own pace, it can cause stress.

For example, a child who loves reading and writing but struggles with math may start feeling like a failure if their parents expect straight A’s. Instead of focusing on their strengths, they may start dreading school altogether. Some children become anxious test-takers because they feel their self-worth is tied to their grades. Others lose interest in learning once they realize they can never meet the unrealistic standard set for them.

2. Behavioral Expectations

Every parent wants their child to be well-mannered, responsible, and respectful. But when the expectation is to never make mistakes, children can start feeling like they are walking on eggshells.

While it is important to teach respect and responsibility, it is also important to remember that children are still learning. They will make mistakes. They will have bad days. Expecting perfect behavior at all times can make them afraid to express themselves.

3. Social Expectations

Many parents worry about their child’s ability to make friends and interact well with others. Some expect their child to be outgoing, confident, and socially skilled. But not all children are naturally social.

A shy child who prefers small groups or one-on-one conversations may feel uncomfortable when forced to “go say hi” or “make more friends.” A child who enjoys playing alone may feel like something is wrong with them if their parents constantly push them to be more social.

4. Emotional Expectations

Children experience big emotions: happiness, frustration, sadness, excitement. But some parents expect them to always stay in control. They might tell their child, “Stop crying; it is not a big deal” or “You should not be angry over that.” While the intention might be to teach emotional resilience, it can also make children feel like their feelings are wrong.

A child who grows up believing they can’t express their emotions might start hiding them altogether. They might pretend to be okay even when they are struggling because they don’t want to disappoint their parents.

5. Career Expectations

Some parents have a clear vision of what their child’s future should look like. They have a specific career path in mind, expecting their child to follow in their footsteps or choose a “stable” profession.

It is common for parents to push medicine, law, or engineering while dismissing creative or unconventional careers. Some children who love music, sports, or entrepreneurship struggle under the weight of their parents’ expectations because they feel like their dreams are not taken seriously.

Now, let us look at some of the factors that affect parenting expectations.

Factors That Shape Parenting Expectations

Parental expectations don’t come from nowhere. Every parent has hopes and dreams for their child, and those expectations are often shaped by personal experiences, cultural values, and societal pressures. 

Sometimes, without realizing it, parents project their own fears, disappointments, and ambitions onto their children. Understanding why we set certain expectations can help us take a step back and make sure we are not unintentionally placing too much weight on our children’s shoulders.

1. The Influence of Personal Experience

Many parents today had to grow up fast (I can relate to this personally). They didn’t have the luxury of childhood filled with play and exploration. Some had to take on responsibilities at a young age, help support their family, or prove their worth through academic and career achievements.

Because of this, they believe pushing their child hard is an act of love. If they struggled to succeed, they don’t want their child to experience the same hardship, so they push them to be the best. Others, who missed out on opportunities, see their child as a chance to fulfill the dreams they could not pursue.

For example, a parent who wanted to be a doctor but never had the chance may strongly encourage their child to enter medicine, even if the child has no interest in it. A parent who had to work twice as hard for financial stability may expect their child to aim for top-paying jobs, believing that anything less is a failure.

But what happens when the child’s dreams don’t align with the parent’s? They may feel guilty for disappointing their parents or anxious about not meeting expectations. Over time, they may lose sight of their own interests and simply follow the path laid out for them, even if it makes them unhappy.

2. Cultural and Societal Pressure

In many cultures, children’s success is seen as a reflection of their parents. Parents feel responsible for how their children turn out, and society often judges them based on their child’s achievements. If a child does well in school, excels in sports, or gets into a prestigious university, the parents are praised. But if a child struggles, the parents may feel like they have failed.

This pressure can make parents unknowingly push their children beyond their limits. They may compare their child to others, asking, “Why can’t you be like so-and-so?” They may measure success based on societal standards rather than their child’s strengths and interests.

Social media has made this even harder. Parents see carefully curated snapshots of other families’ “perfect” children's academic awards, talents, achievements, and wonder if they are doing enough. The pressure to keep up can lead to unrealistic expectations, turning childhood into a competition rather than a time of growth and discovery.

3. The Fear of an Uncertain Future

The world today is fast-changing and competitive. Many parents worry about whether their child will have a stable and successful future. This fear can lead them to believe that pushing their child harder will prepare them for life’s challenges. They think, if I don’t make them aim high now, they might struggle later.

But while preparing children for the future is important, there is a fine line between equipping them with skills and burdening them with pressure. A child who is constantly pushed may grow up feeling like they are never good enough. Instead of being motivated by their own interests, they may develop anxiety and burnout, never feeling at peace with their achievements.

When Parental Expectations Become Overwhelming

High expectations can be a good thing when they are realistic and encouraging. They help children develop resilience, discipline, and motivation. But when expectations become too high, rigid, or disconnected from the child’s natural strengths and interests, they can cause more harm than good.

1. Anxiety and Fear of Failure

Children who grow up under constant pressure to be “the best” may develop anxiety about failure. They might start believing that mistakes are unacceptable and that their worth is tied to their performance.

For example, a child who is always expected to get perfect grades may feel intense fear whenever they face a difficult subject. Instead of asking for help or seeing challenges as part of learning, they may start feeling ashamed and stressed. Some children even avoid trying new things because they are afraid of failing and disappointing their parents.

Over time, this pressure can lead to burnout, low self-esteem, and a fear of taking risks, things that can affect them well into adulthood.

2. Struggles with Identity and Self-Worth

When children are raised with the expectation that they must be the best; whether in school, sports, or social status, they may start defining themselves only by their achievements. Instead of seeing themselves as unique individuals with different strengths and weaknesses, they may believe they are only valuable when they succeed.

This can create a deep sense of insecurity. A child who does not meet their parent’s expectations may feel like a disappointment, even if they are trying their best. Some children even distance themselves emotionally from their parents, feeling like they are only loved when they achieve something impressive.

A classic example is the teenager who seems to “change” when they go off to university or start making their own choices. In reality, they may just be experiencing freedom for the first time, figuring out who they are beyond their parents’ expectations. Some rebel, making choices their parents disapprove of, while others struggle with indecision, not knowing what they truly want because they have never had the chance to explore their own interests.

3. Loss of Enjoyment and Passion

When expectations turn into pressure, even activities that a child once loved can start feeling like a burden.

For example, a child who enjoys playing the piano for fun may lose interest if their parents expect them to compete and win awards. A child who loves football may start dreading practice if they feel they must be the best. Instead of doing things for joy, children may start seeing activities as obligations.

Over time, this can lead to burnout and resentment. Instead of growing into confident individuals who love learning and exploring, they may simply go through the motions, doing things out of obligation rather than passion.

But this does not mean parents should not have expectations at all. The key is finding balance; setting goals that challenge but don’t overwhelm, encouraging effort over perfection, and allowing children the space to explore their own paths.

Helping Your Child Set Realistic but Challenging Expectations

Setting expectations for children is a delicate balance. On one hand, you don’t want to set the bar so low that they don’t develop resilience or ambition. On the other hand, you don’t want to make expectations so high that they feel overwhelmed or discouraged. 

The goal is to help children set expectations that challenge them to grow while still being achievable based on their abilities and interests. Here is how:

1. Focus on Progress, Not Perfection

Children thrive when they feel their efforts are valued, not just their results. If they believe that only perfect grades or top performances matter, they may start feeling anxious or unmotivated when things get tough. Instead, shift the focus to progress.

For example, if your child struggles with math, instead of expecting them to always get an A, encourage them to aim for steady improvement. Celebrate when they understand a difficult concept or raise their grade from a C to a B. This helps them develop a growth mindset, believing that effort leads to improvement, rather than thinking they must be naturally gifted at something to succeed.

2. Encourage Them to Set Their Own Goals

When children are involved in setting their own goals, they are more motivated to achieve them. Instead of deciding everything for them, guide them in setting realistic but challenging expectations.

For instance, if your child loves football, ask them, What os something you would like to achieve this season? Maybe they want to improve their passing skills or increase their endurance. If they enjoy reading, ask, How many books do you think you can read this month? This allows them to take ownership of their goals while still pushing themselves.

You can also help them break big goals into smaller, manageable steps. If they want to learn to play the piano, instead of focusing on mastering a whole song immediately, encourage them to practice for 20 minutes a day. Achieving small wins builds confidence and keeps them motivated.

3. Keep Expectations Flexible

Life is unpredictable, and sometimes children will struggle with things that seemed easy before. Maybe they were doing well in school but then had a rough term. Maybe they loved a certain activity but have lost interest. Instead of forcing them to meet old expectations, be open to adjusting them.

Ask questions like, Are you still enjoying this? or What is making this challenging for you? If they are struggling in a subject, maybe they need a different learning approach or extra support. If they no longer enjoy an activity, it is okay to explore new interests.

4. Teach Them That Failure Is Part of Growth

Many children fear failure because they see it as the opposite of success. But failure is a natural part of learning and growth. When your child faces setbacks, help them reframe failure as a learning experience rather than a final judgment on their abilities.

If they didn’t make the football team, remind them that they can always try again or explore another sport. If they performed poorly on a test, encourage them to figure out what went wrong and how to improve. Instead of saying, You should have tried harder, try saying, What do you think we can do differently next time?

This approach builds resilience and helps children develop a healthy attitude toward challenges.

Children are not meant to follow a perfectly mapped-out path, and their journey won’t always look the way we imagined. Their interests may shift, they may struggle in areas we expected them to excel, and they may take longer to figure things out than we had hoped. But that does not mean they are failing, or that we are failing as parents. It simply means they are growing in their own way, at their own pace.

Parenting is a journey, and so is childhood. The goal is not to create a perfect child or to shape them into a version of ourselves. It is to walk beside them, support them, and help them become the best version of who they are meant to be. And that, more than any expectation, is what truly matters.

Imagine this: your teenager comes to you, devastated, because they just lost money to an online “investment” that promised huge returns. Maybe it was a flashy ad on social media, or a friend convinced them to join a “risk-free” trading platform. The money is gone, and so is their confidence. They feel embarrassed, and you feel frustrated—wishing they had listened to your warning.

The truth is, financial scams and bad investments are everywhere, and young people are easy targets. They are growing up in a world where online money-making opportunities seem endless, but many of these are designed to exploit their inexperience. 

As a parent, you want to protect your child, but you also know you can’t monitor their every move. The best thing you can do is equip them with the knowledge to spot scams before they fall for them. In this blog post, we will explore how scams target young people, what to do when your child falls for a scam, and how to help them avoid costly mistakes.

Understanding How Scams Target Young People

Teens might think scams are something that only happen to older, less tech-savvy adults, but that is not true. In fact, young people are often more vulnerable because they trust online platforms, are eager to make money, and may not have developed the habit of questioning financial offers. Here are some of the most common scams that target young people:

1. Online Investment Scams

Many scammers promote "investment opportunities" that promise high returns with little to no risk. These could be fake cryptocurrency trading platforms, forex schemes, or pyramid-style businesses where teens are encouraged to recruit friends to earn money. They often use influencers or fake testimonials to make the scheme look credible.

2. Scholarship and Grant Scams

Teens looking for ways to fund their education might come across scholarship scams that ask for an upfront “processing fee” or request personal details to steal their identity. These scams can look legitimate, making it difficult to spot the red flags.

3. Online Shopping and Giveaway Scams

Social media is flooded with fake giveaways, “free” offers, and online stores selling products that never arrive. Scammers trick young people into entering card details or paying upfront for something that does not exist.

4. Phishing Scams

These scams try to trick children into revealing personal information, such as passwords or banking details, by pretending to be a trusted source: like their school, bank, or a popular website. A teen might receive an email saying, “Your account has been blocked. Click here to reset your password.” If they follow the link, they unknowingly give their login details to scammers.

5. Get-Rich-Quick Jobs

Many teens want to earn extra cash, and scammers take advantage of this by offering fake job opportunities. These “jobs” often require an upfront payment for training, equipment, or access to an exclusive group. Once the money is sent, the scammer disappears.

The internet has made it easier than ever for scammers to reach young people, but that does not mean they have to fall victim. The key is awareness. When children understand how these scams work, they will be more likely to think twice before handing over their money or personal information.

Teaching the Basics of Smart Money Management

One of the best ways to help your child avoid financial scams and bad investments is to teach them smart money habits early. A child who understands how money works is less likely to fall for offers that sound “too good to be true.”

1. Explain the Concept of Risk and Reward

A lot of scams work because they promise high rewards with little to no risk. Teach your child that in the real world, every financial decision has some level of risk. If something guarantees huge profits quickly without any risk, it is likely a scam.

2. Teach the Importance of Research

Scammers rely on people making quick, emotional decisions. Encourage your child to always research before spending or investing their money.

Some easy ways to teach this habit:

• Before buying something online, ask them to check reviews from multiple sources.
• If they hear about a “money-making opportunity,” encourage them to Google the company name followed by “scam” or “reviews.”
• Teach them to look for red flags, such as vague promises, fake testimonials, and requests for personal information.

By making research a habit, they will be less likely to trust something at first glance.

3. Help Them Set Financial Goals

When children have clear financial goals, they become more mindful about how they spend their money. Whether it is saving for a new gadget, a trip, or university, having a goal makes them less likely to waste money on scams.

Make it fun and practical by helping them:

• Set up a simple savings plan with a clear goal.
• Track their progress using a notebook or a finance app.
• Celebrate when they reach a savings milestone.

Helping children Spot Red Flags in Financial Offers

Even with good financial habits, children will still encounter scams, so they need to know what warning signs to look for.

1. “Guaranteed” Returns and High-Pressure Tactics

Teach your child that in the real world, no investment is 100% risk-free. Scammers often use phrases like:

• “You are guaranteed to make money!”
• “Sign up now before it is too late!”
• “Everyone is doing this—don’t miss out!”

Encourage your child to slow down and think before acting. If something is truly a great opportunity, they will have time to research it.

2. Requests for Upfront Payments or Personal Information

A big red flag is when a job, investment, or offer requires money upfront. Teach your child that legitimate opportunities don’t ask for an initial fee just to participate.

Also, warn them about sharing personal information. Scammers often ask for:

• Bank account details
• BVN
• Passwords/Pin

Remind them that no real company or bank will randomly ask for these details through text, email, or phone calls.

3. Fake Reviews and Testimonials

Scammers make their offers look real by using fake reviews and celebrity endorsements. Show your child how to check for signs of fake reviews:

• Are the reviews overly positive with no negatives?
• Do multiple reviews sound similar, as if they were written by the same person?
• Can they find independent sources (like news articles) verifying the opportunity?

 What to Do If Your Child Falls for a Scam

It is frustrating as a parent, you have worked hard to teach them about money, only for them to lose it to a scammer. But instead of reacting with anger or disappointment, it is more helpful to see it as a learning experience. How you handle the situation will shape how they approach financial mistakes in the future.

1. Stay Calm and Supportive

If your child confesses that they have been scammed, your first reaction matters. It is natural to feel upset, but try not to lash out. If they sense that you are angry or disappointed, they might avoid telling you about financial mistakes in the future. Instead, take a deep breath and focus on understanding what happened.

A good way to start the conversation is:

• “I am really sorry this happened. Let us go over it together so we can figure out what to do next.”
• “I know this must feel really frustrating. We will work through it.”

Your child is likely already feeling embarrassed or guilty. Reassuring them that mistakes happen and can be fixed will help them recover faster.

2. Identify What Happened

Walk through the details of the scam together. Ask questions like:

• How did they come across the offer?
• What made them trust it?
• Did they lose money, personal information, or both?

If money was lost through an online transaction, check if it can be reversed. Some banks and payment platforms offer fraud protection, so it is worth reporting the scam. If they shared personal details, you may need to update passwords or monitor for suspicious activity.

3. Use It as a Teaching Moment

Rather than focusing on the mistake itself, shift the conversation toward how they can avoid similar situations in the future. Help them reflect on the warning signs they may have missed. For example:

• “Now that we know this was a scam, what do you think we should watch out for next time?”
• “What will you do differently if a similar offer comes up again?”

Encourage them to write down what they have learned. This makes the lesson stick and turns a negative experience into a stepping stone for financial wisdom.

4. Report the Scam

If the scam was online, consider reporting it. Many websites and social media platforms allow you to flag fraudulent activity. You can also report scams to consumer protection agencies. Taking this step teaches your child that speaking up helps prevent others from falling victim to the same scam.

5. Help Them Rebuild Confidence

Being scammed can shake a child’s confidence, making them hesitant to handle money in the future. Remind them that even adults fall for scams. It does not mean they are irresponsible. Share a story of a well-known scam that fooled smart people like MMM. The goal is to help them regain trust in their ability to make financial decisions while being more cautious next time.

Encourage them to set a new financial goal to regain control over their money. If they lost savings, help them create a simple plan to rebuild it. 

In today’s digital world, where financial traps are everywhere, children need more than just warnings; they need practical skills to think critically, ask the right questions, and make informed decisions, so they don’t fall for scams.

Mistakes will happen, but each one is an opportunity to grow. When your child knows they can come to you for help without fear of judgment, they will be more open about their financial experiences, both good and bad.

It was one of those days. The kind where nothing seems to go right. The children are arguing over everything, the laundry pile is threatening to take over the house, and dinner is running late again. As you tucked your child into bed that night, you wondered: Am I even doing a good job as a parent?

If you have ever had moments like this, you are not alone. Parenting does not come with a scoreboard, and unlike at work, there is no annual review where someone sits you down and says, “Hey, you are doing a great job!” 

And because parenting is such an emotional journey, it is easy to focus on what is going wrong rather than what is going right. But here is the truth: if you are questioning whether you are doing okay, that alone is a sign that you care deeply about your child, and that is already a good start.

The good news is there are signs, even small ones, that show you are doing better than you think. This post will walk through five everyday indicators that prove you are on the right track.

1. Your Child Feels Safe with You

If your child runs to you for comfort after scraping a knee, shares their worries before bed, or tells you about their day, even the little things, you are doing something right. Children don’t always say, “Thank you for being a great parent,” but their trust in you speaks volumes.

Feeling safe does not just mean physical safety; it is also about emotional security. Your child knows they can come to you without fear of judgment or punishment. This means, even when you have to set rules or discipline them, they still see you as their safe place.

A child who feels safe with their parent grows up with confidence, emotional security, and a strong sense of self. And if you are the person they trust when they need comfort, then you are absolutely doing something right.

2. You Apologize When You Make Mistakes

No parent is perfect. You lose your temper, say things you regret, or make decisions that don’t turn out well. That is normal. What really matters is what you do afterward.

Some parents worry that apologizing to their child will make them seem weak, but it is actually the opposite. It teaches respect and strengthens the parent-child bond. A child who grows up in a home where mistakes are acknowledged, not hidden, learns to take responsibility for their own actions too.

So if you have ever apologized to your child, even for something small, that is a huge sign you are doing okay as a parent.

3. Your Child Is Mad at You

It is not a great feeling when your child stomps off, slams a door, or gives you the silent treatment. Maybe you took away their tablet, said no to a sleepover, or insisted they finish their homework before playing. Whatever the reason, their frustration is loud and clear. And in that moment, it is easy to wonder, Did I handle that right? Am I being too strict? Too harsh?

Here is the truth: If your child is mad at you for enforcing a rule, setting a boundary, or making a decision in their best interest, you are probably doing something right. Children don’t always see the bigger picture in the moment. They want what they want, and when they don’t get it, they react. But that doesn’t mean you have failed; it means you are doing your job as a parent.

Think about it this way: If your child only ever agrees with you and never pushes back, it could mean you are prioritizing being your child’s friend over teaching them valuable lessons. Parenting is not about making your child happy all the time; it is about guiding them to become responsible, kind, and capable adults. And sometimes, that means they won’t like your decisions.

Of course, this does not mean ignoring their feelings. Acknowledge their emotions and show that you hear them, even if your decision stands. It also helps them learn to process emotions in a healthy way instead of bottling them up or lashing out.

So, the next time your child is mad at you because you upheld a rule, take a deep breath and remind yourself: their temporary frustration is not a sign of failure. It is a sign that you are leading, not just pleasing.

4. Your Child Shows Kindness

One of the clearest signs you are doing well as a parent is when your child shows kindness, not just to friends and family but to people they don’t have to be kind to.

Maybe they comfort a friend who’s feeling sad, share their snack without being asked, or hold the door open for a stranger. These small but powerful moments show that they have absorbed the values you have been teaching them at home.

Children are not born knowing how to be kind. It is something they learn by watching, experiencing, and practicing. If your child is showing kindness, it means they’ve been exposed to it regularly, most likely from you.

5. You Ask for Help

Parents are often made to feel like they should have all the answers. But the truth is, there will be days when you don’t know what to do. And in those moments, asking for help is one of the best things you can do.

Help can come in many forms. It might be asking another parent, calling a trusted family member for advice, or seeking out a parenting book or expert. Sometimes, help means letting your partner take over when you are feeling overwhelmed. Other times, it is as simple as texting a friend, “Today was rough. Can I vent?”

And if you think about it, isn’t that exactly what we want our children to learn? We tell them to ask questions when they don’t understand something. We encourage them to seek guidance when they need it. So why should we hold ourselves to a different standard?

Are there tough days? Absolutely. Will there be moments when you doubt yourself? Of course. But parenting is not about perfection; it is about showing up, trying your best, and learning alongside your child.

So the next time you wonder if you are doing okay as a parent, take a step back and look at the little wins. These are the quiet victories that matter.

Do you remember the first time you earned your own money? Maybe it was for washing your uncle’s car, working for your parents, or clearing weeds for your neighbour. That feeling of accomplishment, of knowing you had worked hard and could now decide how to spend or save your earnings. That experience for you as a child can be life-changing; it is your first taste of independence.

In today’s consumer-driven world, teaching children the value of earning their own money is more important than ever. In this blog post, we will explore why earning matters for children, how to start small with chores, and how these early experiences can set them on the path to financial success.

Why Earning Matters for Children

When children earn their own money, they are building a foundation of skills and habits that will shape their approach to work, money, and responsibility for years to come. Let us look at why earning money matters and how it impacts their development:

1. Building Self-Esteem and Confidence

When a child earns money, whether by completing chores or teaching other children, they feel a sense of pride in their accomplishments. They see the direct result of their efforts and begin to understand that their contributions have value. This boosts their self-esteem and gives them the confidence to take on new challenges, both financial and otherwise.

They also learn to take ownership of their desires and learn that they can achieve their goals through effort.

2. Understanding the Effort-Reward Connection

Children often view money as something that magically appears from a parent’s wallet or purse. Earning money themselves flips that perspective. They begin to see that money is tied to effort—it is something earned, not given. This understanding can lead to more thoughtful spending habits because they now value the work that goes into acquiring money.

3. Fostering Responsibility and Independence

Earning money helps children develop a sense of responsibility. They learn to manage their time, fulfill commitments, and take care of tasks without being constantly reminded. This responsibility often spills over into other areas of their lives, such as schoolwork and personal relationships.

Additionally, earning their own money gives children a taste of independence. They begin to understand the concept of financial trade-offs and learn to prioritize what matters most to them

4. Preparing for Real-World Financial Responsibilities

The lessons learned from earning money early on serve as a stepping stone to managing adult financial responsibilities. Children who understand the value of hard work and earning are better prepared to handle a paycheck, budget for expenses, and save for long-term goals when they grow older.

Starting Small with Chores

Earning does not have to begin with a formal job. For younger children, simple household chores are the perfect way to introduce the idea of work and reward. Chores not only help children develop a sense of responsibility but also teach them that their contributions matter in the larger context of the family.

Why Start with Chores?

Chores are a natural starting point for teaching children about earning because they are manageable and age-appropriate. Here is how to get started: 

1. Assign Age-Appropriate Tasks
Start by giving your child tasks they can complete independently, depending on their age and abilities. For younger children, this might mean picking up toys, setting the table, or watering plants. Older children can handle more complex tasks like doing laundry, vacuuming, or preparing simple meals.

2. Introduce a Chore Chart
A visual chore chart can help children see their responsibilities clearly and stay organized. For every completed task, they can earn a small amount of money that helps them work towards a goal or another agreed-upon reward. This system gives them something tangible to work toward, making the connection between effort and reward more concrete.

3. Focus on Consistency
Consistency is key to building habits. Set a regular schedule for chores, so children know what is expected of them. Whether it is taking out the trash every Saturday or cleaning their room every day, regular routines help reinforce the importance of fulfilling responsibilities.

4. Discuss the Value of Their Work
Take a moment to explain why their work matters. These conversations help children understand that their efforts have a real impact.

Avoiding Common Pitfalls

While it is tempting to offer rewards for every single task, be careful not to overdo it. Some chores, like tidying their personal space, should be part of their responsibilities without monetary reward. Balance paid chores with unpaid ones to ensure they develop a sense of duty and not just a focus on financial gain.

Exploring Part-Time Jobs for Teens

As children grow into teenagers, their ability to take on more significant responsibilities expands. Part-time jobs are an excellent way for them to gain real-world experience while continuing to build financial confidence. Beyond earning money, these jobs teach skills like time management, teamwork, and customer service that are invaluable in adulthood.

Ideas for Teen-Friendly Jobs

1. Tutoring
Teens who excel in specific subjects can offer tutoring services to younger children. This not only reinforces their own knowledge but also develops communication and teaching skills.

2. Retail or Food Service
Working in a retail store or restaurant teaches teens about customer service, teamwork, and handling money. These jobs often come with flexible hours that can fit around school schedules.

3. Online Gigs
For tech-savvy teens, online opportunities like graphic design, social media management, or freelance writing can be a great way to earn money while honing skills that could lead to future careers.

How Parents Can Support Teens in Part-Time Work

1. Help Them Find Opportunities
Assist your teen in identifying job openings that match their skills and interests. This could mean checking online, asking friends and neighbors, or researching local businesses.

2. Discuss Time Management
Talk about how they will balance work with school, extracurricular activities, and downtime. Encourage them to prioritize their responsibilities and set realistic expectations for their schedule.

3. Teach Workplace Etiquette
Before they start, discuss essential workplace behaviors like punctuality, communication, and respect. These skills will not only help them succeed in their current role but also prepare them for future opportunities.

4. Celebrate Their Efforts
Whether it is their first paycheck or a kind comment from their boss, celebrate your teen’s accomplishments. Acknowledging their hard work reinforces the value of earning and encourages them to keep striving.

Connecting Earning to Financial Skills

Once they have started earning, whether through chores or part-time work. It is the perfect time to introduce basic money management. These lessons will help them build healthy financial habits that last a lifetime.

Key Financial Lessons for children

1. Saving for Goals
Encourage your child to set a savings goal. It could be a new toy, a bike, or even a small contribution toward a family outing. Help them break down the cost into achievable steps, so they see how saving a little at a time adds up.

2. Understanding Needs vs. Wants
Talk to your child about the difference between needs and wants. Use everyday examples to make it relatable: “A school backpack is a need because you use it daily, but a fancy lunchbox is a want because your current one works just fine.”
This distinction helps children prioritize their spending and avoid impulse purchases.

3. Introducing Budgeting Basics
Create a simple budget with your child. For younger children, this might involve dividing their earnings into three jars: Spend, Save, and Give. Older children can use a notebook or app to track their income and expenses.
Example: If they earn ₦2,000 a month, suggest they allocate ₦1,000 for savings, ₦500 for spending, and ₦500 for giving.

4. Discussing the Importance of Generosity
Help your child understand that money can also be used to help others. Encourage them to set aside a small portion of their earnings for charitable giving or helping a friend in need. This fosters empathy and a sense of social responsibility.

When children understand the relationship between their actions and what they earn, they gain confidence in their ability to contribute meaningfully to their families and communities.

As parents, it is natural to want to protect and provide for our children, but empowering them to earn and manage their own money prepares them for a world where financial decisions are part of everyday life.

Ultimately, the goal is not to raise children who merely earn and spend money but to nurture thoughtful, resourceful individuals who understand the value of hard work and the importance of making informed financial decisions.