Schools do an important job. They teach our children how to read, write, solve math problems, and understand the world around them. And for the most part, they do it well. But as parents, we quickly learn that being “book smart” isn’t the same as being life smart.

You might have a child who is great at spelling or aces their science tests but still struggles with managing their emotions. That is not a sign that something’s wrong. It just means there are some lessons children won’t get from textbooks or classrooms.

These are the skills that shape how they show up in the world, how they treat others, handle challenges, take responsibility, and grow into confident, capable adults. The truth is, school can't cover everything. And that is where you come in.

As a parent or guardian, you are in the best position to teach your child some of life’s most important lessons, not through lectures or pressure, but through everyday conversations, small choices, and lots of encouragement.

Let us look at five key skills that most children don’t learn in school and how you can help them grow at home.

1. Emotional Awareness and Regulation

Children have big feelings, and they don’t always know what to do with them. That is why helping them understand and manage their emotions is such a valuable skill.

Start by naming feelings when you see them: “You look frustrated; is it because the game isn’t going your way?” This helps children learn the words for what they are feeling and makes it okay to talk about it.

You can also model calm behavior when you are upset. Instead of snapping or shutting down, say something like, “I’m feeling very upset right now, so I’m going to take a minute to breathe so I don’t say something I will regret later.”

These small moments teach children that emotions are normal, and there are healthy ways to handle them, not just for now, but for life.

2. Communication and Active Listening

Being able to talk clearly and listen well is a skill that helps in every part of life, with friends, family, teachers, and later on, coworkers. But it is not always taught directly in school.

At home, you can help your child practice this by simply having real conversations. Ask about their opinions. Let them explain things, even if it takes a while. Show them what good listening looks like: putting down your phone, making eye contact, and not interrupting.

You can also play simple games like “Say it another way” to help them find better ways to express themselves. For example, if they say, “I hate this,” help them rephrase it: “I’m frustrated because this is hard.”

Over time, these small efforts build strong communication skills that will serve them for life.

3. Decision-Making and Problem-Solving

Children make decisions every day, from what to wear to how to handle a tough situation with a friend. But they often don’t get to practice making real choices or thinking through problems step by step.

You can help by involving them in everyday decisions. Let them help plan a weekend outing or choose between two options for dinner. Talk through the pros and cons together, and let them experience the results of their choices, even if things don’t go perfectly.

When a problem comes up, instead of jumping in to fix it, ask, “What do you think we can do?” This gives them a chance to think things through and builds confidence in their ability to figure things out.

It is not about having all the answers; it is about learning to think clearly and try, even when things feel tricky.

4. Money Basics

Many children grow up knowing how to solve math problems but have no idea how to manage money. It is not their fault; schools don’t usually teach real-world money skills like budgeting, saving, or spending wisely.

You don’t need to give a full lecture to teach this. Start with simple things: give them a small allowance and guide them on how to divide it, some to spend, some to save, maybe even some to give.

Talk openly about everyday money choices. Explain why you are choosing one item over another at the store or how you plan for monthly bills. Let them help with a shopping list and stay within a budget.

These real-life lessons add up, and they help your child learn that money is a tool and how they use it matters.

5. How to Handle Failure and Keep Going

School often rewards getting the right answer, which is good. But life is full of mistakes, setbacks, and trying again. That is why learning how to handle failure is one of the most important skills a child can have.

Let your child know it is okay to mess up. Share stories of your own failures and what you learned from them. When they fall short, whether it is a test, a game, or a project, focus on effort and growth: “I saw how hard you worked on that. What do you think you’d do differently next time?”

When children understand that failure isn’t the end of the world, it is just part of learning, they are more likely to bounce back and keep trying.

That is resilience, and it is a skill they will use their whole life.

Help Your Child Thrive Beyond the Classroom

School teaches a lot, but it doesn’t cover everything, and that is where we come in.

Today’s children are growing up in a fast-paced world filled with pressure, uncertainty, and constant change. Without the right life skills, many struggle with confidence, decision-making, and relationships, even if they are doing well in school.

Enroll your child (ages 6–18) in our mentoring academy and give them the tools to thrive in school, at home, and in life.

It starts subtly sometimes. Maybe your child used to enjoy school, and now they seem frustrated every afternoon. Or the teacher mentions missing assignments, or you have noticed their grades quietly slipping. Maybe there are tears over homework or complete avoidance of it altogether.

Whatever the signs, one thing is clear: your child is struggling, and you are not sure what to do.

School challenges can shake everyone’s confidence; your child’s and yours. It is easy to spiral into worry or start blaming others. But that is not the solution.

In today’s post, I will walk you through simple, thoughtful steps you can take to understand what is really going on and how to help your child move forward with confidence.

1. Pause and Take a Breath

When you notice your child struggling, it is natural to feel worried, frustrated, or even guilty. Maybe you start asking yourself, "Am I doing enough? Did I miss something? What does this say about me as a parent?”

All those feelings are normal. But acting from a place of panic doesn’t help your child or you. Children are incredibly sensitive to our emotions, even when we think we are hiding them. If they sense our stress, it can add pressure to what they are already feeling.

So before you have a talk, write an email to the teacher, or make a plan, pause. Take a deep breath. Remind yourself that your child’s struggle is not a sign of failure; it is an opportunity to grow, with your support.

2. Talk (and Listen) to Your Child

Once you have taken a breath yourself, the next step is gently opening up a conversation with your child. Not a lecture. Just a quiet check-in that lets them know you are on their side.

You might say something like,
“Hey, I have noticed school seems a bit tougher lately. Want to talk about it?”
Or
“Is there anything that has been bothering you about school?”

Keep your tone relaxed and curious. The goal is to make them feel safe, not like they are in trouble.

They might not open up right away, especially if they are embarrassed or frustrated. That is okay. Try not to rush it. Let the conversation unfold over time.

Also pay attention to what they are not saying. Are they suddenly avoiding homework? Are they always “tired” when it is time to study? These little clues can tell you just as much as their words.

And if they do share something, like they don’t understand a subject, feel behind, or are having trouble with classmates, resist the urge to fix it immediately. First, just listen and thank them for telling you. Feeling heard is powerful. It lays the groundwork for every step that comes next.

3. Identify What’s Really Going On

“Struggling in school” can mean a lot of different things; sometimes it is about academics, but it can also be emotional, social, or even physical.

Here are a few things to look out for:

• Is the struggle subject-specific? Maybe they are doing fine in reading but falling behind in math. Or they love science but freeze up during writing assignments.
  
  
• Is something happening with friends? Social challenges can spill over into school performance. If they feel excluded or bullied, it can be hard to focus or feel safe.
  
  
• Are there emotional or focus-related signs? If they are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or easily distracted, school can quickly become frustrating.
  
  
• Are there any changes at home? A big move, family stress, or even a change in routine can throw things off more than we realize.

It might help to jot down patterns you notice over a week or two. What times of day are hardest? What assignments get avoided? Who are they spending time with?

Getting clear on the root of the struggle helps you respond in the right way. And if you are unsure, don’t hesitate to ask the teacher for their perspective.

4. Connect with the Teacher (Not Just When There is a Problem)

Once you have had a conversation with your child and gotten a clearer picture of what might be going on, it is time to loop in the teacher. This step often gets skipped or delayed, but teachers are your best teammates here. They see your child in a different setting, and they often notice things you might not.

Remember you are not blaming or demanding answers; you are starting a conversation. Teachers usually appreciate this kind of approach because it shows you are engaged and respectful of their role.

During the conversation (whether by email, phone, or in person), you might ask:

• How has my child been doing in class lately?
• Are there specific subjects or activities where they seem more challenged?
• Have you noticed any changes in their focus, mood, or behavior?

You can also share anything you have observed at home. When parents and teachers work together, it gives the child a consistent support system, and that can make a huge difference.

Even if you have spoken with the teacher before, it is okay to check in again. Learning is a journey, and your child’s needs can shift along the way.

5. Explore Support Options Early

If your child is struggling, early support is key. Sometimes, a small adjustment is all they need: a bit of one-on-one time with the teacher, extra help with homework, or clearer routines at home. Other times, they might need something more structured, like tutoring or an assessment.

Outside of school, there are also resources like;

• Lesson teacher (many are subject-specific)
• Educational apps or games that make practice feel fun
• Peer study groups 
• Counseling if emotional challenges are playing a role

The main thing? Don’t wait for things to feel “serious” before getting help. Early support builds confidence and gives your child tools to cope before frustration takes over.

6. Build Healthy Habits at Home

Sometimes the school struggle isn’t just about school. It is about what is happening around it. A few simple routines at home can go a long way in helping your child feel more in control, focused, and calm.

Start with the basics:

• Sleep: Tired children have a harder time focusing, remembering things, and managing emotions. Aim for a regular bedtime and try to keep screens out of the bedroom, especially before sleep.
  
  
• Screen Time: Too much screen time (especially before homework) can make it harder for children to settle down and focus. Create a family rule like “homework first, screens later,” or use a timer to set limits.
  
  
• Homework Space: Find a quiet, clutter-free spot where your child can work. It doesn’t have to be fancy; a small desk or kitchen table with a basket of supplies can work just fine.
  
  
• Short Breaks: Encourage work in chunks, say, 25 minutes of homework followed by a 5-minute stretch or snack break. This helps keep energy up and frustration down.
  
  
• Meal Times and Movement: Regular meals and some kind of daily movement (a walk, playtime, sports) help with focus and mood.

These small, steady routines build a sense of calm and predictability, especially helpful when school feels hard.

7. Celebrate Effort, Not Just Results

When your child is struggling, it is easy to zero in on the grades or missed assignments. But what they need most is encouragement for showing up and trying, even if the results are not perfect (yet).

Praise things like:

• “I noticed you kept going even when the homework felt hard.”
• “You asked for help; that was brave.”
• “You focused really well today; I’m proud of you.”

These kinds of comments help your child connect success with effort and growth, not just the final mark. It teaches them that struggling doesn’t mean failing; it means learning.

If they improve in even the smallest way: a better score on a quiz, completing homework without being reminded, or getting through a subject without tears. Celebrate that win. Track their progress together. Make a little chart. Let them see how their efforts are adding up.

This builds confidence and resilience, which are just as important as any report card.

You are Not Failing

If your child is struggling in school, it doesn’t mean you failed as a parent. It is actually the opposite. The fact that you noticed the struggle and chose to step in with care and intention is one of the most important things you can do as a parent.

While it might feel slow or messy at times, progress is still happening, especially when they have your steady support beside them.

Remember, this is not about finding a quick fix. It is about walking through this season together. Your calm presence, your willingness to ask questions, and your ability to remind them of their strengths can all help turn things around.

You pick your child up from school, smile, and ask, “How was your day?”

They shrug. “Fine.”

You try again. “Anything interesting happen?”

“Not really.”

And just like that, the conversation ends.

Sound familiar?

We want to be there for our children. We want to know if they are happy, worried, hurt, or just excited about something they learned. But sometimes it feels like there is a wall we can’t get past, and the more we push, the quieter they become.

As children move into the pre-teen and teen years, it is common for them to turn more toward their friends: both online and in person, when they are feeling things deeply or just need to talk. It can be tough for parents to watch.

This shift isn’t a rejection. It is part of growing up. Friendships take on a new weight in these years. Talking to someone their own age can feel easier, safer, or less complicated. Friends might not “fix” things or give advice the way adults do, they just listen and say, “me too.” That kind of peer support can feel comforting when you are figuring out who you are.

Still, it doesn’t mean you are out of the picture. In fact, your role is more important than ever. Children still want (and need) a strong connection with you. They just may need you to meet them a little differently than before.

In this post, we will explore simple, practical ways to create the kind of relationship where your child feels comfortable opening up not just to their friends, but to you too. 

1. Start with You: Create the Right Environment

Children are always watching us, even when we think they are not. One of the best ways to help your child feel comfortable opening up is to show them what that looks like. Talk to them about your own day, not the stressful stuff, just small things like, “I had a funny moment at work today,” or “I felt a little off this morning, but my coffee helped.” It shows them that sharing is normal and doesn't have to be a big deal.

2. Timing Is Everything

Trying to have a heart-to-heart right after school or when your child is upset usually doesn’t go well. Most children need a little space before they are ready to talk. And honestly, don’t we all?

Look for natural, low-pressure moments to connect, like when you are driving together, eating dinner, or doing something side by side. These times feel more relaxed and make it easier for children to open up without feeling like they are being put on the spot.

And if they are not in the mood to talk? That is okay too. Let them know you are around and ready to listen when they are.

3. Ask Better Questions

Sometimes it is not what you ask, but how you ask it. “How was your day?” usually gets a “fine” because it is too broad. Try asking something more specific, like

• “What was the best part of your day?”
• “Did anything surprise you today?”
• “Who did you hang out with at lunch?”

These kinds of questions feel more natural and give your child something real to answer. If they still don’t say much, don’t worry. Keep asking gently, and over time, they will likely start to share more.

4. Listen More, Fix Less

When your child does open up, your first instinct might be to jump in with advice or try to fix the problem. That is totally normal, you just want to help. However sometimes, what children really need is for us to just listen.

Try to stay quiet and let them talk. Show that you are listening by nodding or saying things like, “That sounds tough,” or “Thanks for telling me.” If they ask for advice, you can offer it. But often, they just want to feel heard and understood.

Sometimes the best way to help is simply being there with your full attention.

5. Build Connection Daily

You don’t need a long conversation every day to stay close with your child. Just a few minutes of one-on-one time can make a big difference. It could be playing a quick game, reading together, or just sitting and chatting while you fold laundry.

Let them pick the activity sometimes, and follow their lead. When children feel connected to us in small ways every day, they are more likely to come to us with the big stuff when it matters.

It is those everyday moments that quietly build trust.

6. Respect Their Privacy

It is hard not to press when your child doesn’t want to talk, especially if you feel something’s going on. But pushing too hard can make them pull away more.

Let them know you are there whenever they are ready to talk, no pressure. You can say something like, “I’m here if you ever want to chat,” and then just leave it at that. Giving them space shows respect, and that respect helps build trust over time.

Remember, just because they are quiet now doesn’t mean they won’t open up later.

7. Watch Your Reactions

How you respond when your child finally does open up really matters. If you get upset, overreact, or criticize them, they may think twice before coming to you again.

Even if what they say surprises or worries you, try to stay calm. Take a breath, listen fully, and thank them for telling you. You can deal with the details later. The most important thing in the moment is making them feel safe and supported.

8. Know When to Get Help

If your child seems very withdrawn, unusually angry, anxious, or just not like themselves for a long stretch, it might be time to get a little extra help. Talking to a school counselor, pediatrician, or expert can be a great next step.

And it helps to remind your child that talking to someone doesn’t mean something is “wrong” with them. It just means they have another trusted person to talk to when things feel heavy.

Sometimes support from outside the family is exactly what they need, and that is okay.

Keep Showing Up

Getting your child to open up isn’t always easy, and that is okay. Some days they will talk, and other days they might not say much at all. What matters most is that they know you are there when they are ready.

Keep the door open with small moments of connection. You don’t have to have all the right words. Just being present, patient, and kind goes a long way. Over time, those small efforts build trust and this is what helps children open up.

No one hands you a manual when you become a parent. Sure, there are books, blogs, and advice from well-meaning relatives, but most of us figure things out as we go, learning through trial and error, good days and tough ones.

And let us be honest: every parent makes mistakes. It is part of the job. We lose our patience, we say the wrong thing, we worry too much or not enough, and sometimes we second-guess everything. 

Still, some parenting habits, though common and often unintentional, can quietly cause more harm than we realize. Over time, these missteps can chip away at our connection with our children, affect their confidence, or make parenting harder than it needs to be.

This post is not here to guilt-trip you. It is here to gently point out a few of those common pitfalls many of us fall into, explain why they matter, and share what we can do instead. Because the truth is, parenting does not have to be perfect, but we can greatly benefit from reflection and small, thoughtful changes.

So let us take a closer look at five costly (but fixable) mistakes in parenting and how a few simple shifts can make a big difference for both you and your child.

1. Trying to Be the ‘Perfect Parent’

Many parents put a quiet pressure on themselves to do everything “right.” You might feel like you should always have the right answer, always stay calm, never raise your voice, and somehow raise happy, kind, confident children while juggling work, life, and everything else.

The truth? That kind of pressure is exhausting and impossible.

No one gets it all the time (even me). And trying to chase perfection often leaves you feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and full of guilt. It can also make parenting feel more like a performance than a relationship.

What to do instead:

Children don’t need perfect parents. What they need are real ones, ones who show up, make mistakes, and keep trying. They learn from watching how we handle our own tough moments, how we apologize when we mess up, and how we care for ourselves when we are stretched thin.

When you let go of perfection, you create space for connection, and that is what children remember most.

2. Not Allowing Children to Feel Difficult Emotions

It is hard to watch your child cry or get upset. It is tempting to jump in and make it go away quickly. You might say things like, “Don’t cry,” or “It is not that bad,” or even try to distract them with something fun.

It comes from a good place. You want your child to feel better. But when we rush to fix or avoid those feelings, we accidentally send a message that big emotions are wrong or should be hidden.

The problem is, children need to learn how to feel and process difficult emotions, like disappointment, frustration, sadness, or anger. These emotions are part of life. If they don’t get practice feeling and naming them when they are young, they will struggle with them later.

What to do instead:
When your child is upset, start by simply sitting with them. Stay calm. Let them cry if they need to. 

Just being there, listening, and naming what they are feeling is often enough. Over time, this teaches your child that emotions, even the tough ones, are safe to feel and that they don’t have to go through them alone.

3. Not Setting Clear and Consistent Boundaries

Setting limits is not always fun. No parent enjoys hearing “That is not fair!” or dealing with a meltdown after saying “no.” And on tired days or in public, it can feel easier to give in than to hold the line.

But when boundaries shift depending on our mood, energy level, or situation, it can confuse children. They start to test more, not because they are “bad,” but because they are unsure of where the limits really are.

Children feel more secure when they know what is expected. Boundaries actually help children feel safe, even if they protest in the moment. 

What to do instead:
Keep rules simple and age-appropriate. Be clear about them, and follow through calmly. For example, if bedtime is 8:00, try to stick to it even if your child is asking for “just five more minutes.” If screen time ends after one show, hold that limit, even when the next episode auto-plays.

That does not mean you need to be rigid or harsh. It is okay to explain why a rule is in place and to offer choices within limits. “You can read two books before bed, your pick.”

Being consistent does not mean being perfect. It just means your child knows where the fence is. And over time, that consistency builds trust and fewer battles.

4. Comparing Your Child to Others

Whether it is a sibling, a neighbor’s kid, or a classmate, it is surprisingly easy to compare. Maybe your friend’s toddler is already potty trained, or your niece is reading chapter books while your child is still sounding out words. You might even say things without thinking.

• “Why can’t you sit still like your brother?”
• “Look how well your cousin is doing in math.”

The intention might be to motivate, but comparisons rarely do that. Instead, they make children feel like they are falling short or that who they are is not enough.

What to do instead:
Focus on your child’s progress, not someone else’s pace. Every child grows and learns in their own way, on their own timeline. Instead of, “Your sister did this at your age,” try, “I can see how hard you are trying. That is what matters.”

Notice their unique strengths, even if they don’t look like someone else’s. Maybe your child is not athletic, but they are thoughtful or creative or funny. Celebrate those things often and out loud.

Children thrive when they feel seen and accepted for who they are, not who we think they should be.

5. Doing Everything For Your Child

It is only natural to want to help your child. Watching them struggle with something, tying their shoes, packing their bag, or dealing with a tricky friendship, tugs at your heart. Sometimes it is faster and easier to just step in and fix it.

But when we do everything for our children, we unintentionally send the message that they can’t handle things on their own. Over time, this can chip away at their confidence and problem-solving skills.

It can be as small as zipping their coat every morning or as big as stepping in to smooth over every school or social issue. The more we rescue, the less they learn to trust their own abilities.

What to do instead:
Let your child try first. Will it take longer? Probably. Will there be mistakes? Almost certainly. But those mistakes are how children learn.

If your child is struggling, offer help, but do it with them, not for them. You might say, “Do you want me to show you, or do you want to try again?” or “I am here if you need help figuring this out.”

The goal is not for them to get it right immediately; it is for them to grow in confidence, knowing you believe in their ability to figure things out.

Its Okay to Make Mistakes

Parenting is filled with choices, some big, some small, all of them meaningful. And the truth is, we are all going to get some of those choices wrong from time to time. That is okay.

What matters most is not avoiding every mistake. It is recognizing the ones we do make, learning from them, and making gentle adjustments as we go. 

If you see yourself in any of the mistakes above, take heart. You are not alone. Most of us have done them at one point or another. What is powerful is your willingness to pause, pay attention, and parent with intention.

In the end, your love, your effort, and your willingness to keep showing up, that is what matters most. And your child? They are lucky to have you.

Your child comes home with slumped shoulders and teary eyes. They didn’t get picked for the school play, even though they practiced their lines all week. You can see the disappointment all over their face, and your first instinct might be to say something like, “It is okay, maybe next time!” or “Let us go get ice cream!”

We have all been there. Watching our children feel hurt or let down tugs at every string in our hearts. As parents, our natural reaction is often to protect, distract, or cheer them up as fast as possible. But here is the thing: disappointment is a normal, healthy part of growing up, and knowing how to handle it is a skill our children need just as much as reading or riding a bike.

The goal is not to shield them from every letdown. It is to walk with them through it. When we do that, we are not just helping them feel better in the moment; we are teaching them how to cope, reflect, and move forward when life does not go their way.

In this post, we will walk through how to support your child when disappointment shows up, whether it is over a missed goal, a canceled outing, or something much bigger.

Why Disappointment Is Actually Good 

No one likes watching their child feel sad, frustrated, or defeated. Whether it is a lost game, a bad grade, or not being invited to a party, disappointment can feel heavy, both for them and for us.

But here is a gentle truth that can be hard to remember in the moment: disappointment is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it plays an important role in helping our children grow into emotionally strong and capable people. Here is why:

1. It Builds Emotional Strength

Every time a child experiences disappointment and makes it through, even if they cry, pout, or need a hug along the way, they are learning that tough feelings don’t last forever. They see that sadness or frustration can be felt, expressed, and eventually passed through. This helps them develop inner strength, just like muscles grow stronger with use.

Without the chance to face smaller disappointments in childhood, children may struggle to cope with bigger challenges later in life.

2. It Helps Them Learn to Adapt

Life doesn’t always go as planned. That is true whether you are 6 or 60. Facing disappointment teaches children that even when things don’t turn out the way they hoped, they can adjust, try again, or take a different path.

These moments teach flexibility. They show children how to problem-solve, think creatively, and bounce back, skills that will serve them well in friendships, school, and beyond.

3. It Teaches Them About Limits and Effort

Sometimes, children feel disappointed because they didn’t get what they wanted, even after trying hard. That is tough, but it can also be a valuable lesson in how life works.

Disappointment offers a chance to talk about things like effort, fairness, and realistic expectations. It also helps children begin to separate their effort from the outcome, understanding that trying your best is worthwhile, even if you don’t always win or succeed right away.

4. It Builds Empathy

When children know how it feels to be disappointed, they can better understand when someone else is going through the same thing. That shared experience of feeling left out, let down, or frustrated helps them grow into more compassionate friends, siblings, and classmates.

Empathy grows when we let children feel their feelings fully instead of brushing them aside. And that is something worth leaning into, even when it is hard.

How to Help Your Child Through Disappointment (Step-by-Step)

Disappointment can come in all shapes and sizes for children, and in the moment, their reaction might seem bigger than the situation, but remember: it feels big to them.

Here is a simple, step-by-step way to help your child move through those tough moments with your support:

1. Stay Present and Calm

Before you say anything, take a breath. Your calm presence is one of the most powerful tools you have. If your child is falling apart emotionally, they are looking, consciously or not, to see how you are reacting.

If you stay steady, even if they are stormy, it helps them feel safe. You don’t have to say much at first. Just being there is enough.

2. Acknowledge What they are Feeling

Resist the urge to fix it right away or brush it off. Instead, start with a simple acknowledgment:

• “You are really upset about that.”
• “I can tell you were really looking forward to that game.”
• “It is okay to feel disappointed.”

Naming the feeling helps them understand what they are going through and lets them know it is okay to feel that way.

3. Don’t Rush to Cheer Them Up

It is tempting to jump in with distractions or rewards, “Let us get ice cream!” But try not to skip over the feeling too fast. Give them space to feel sad or frustrated. That is part of learning how to handle hard emotions.

You can sit quietly with them, offer a hug, or say something like, “I am here with you. Let us just take a minute.”

4. Help Them Put It into Words

Once the big emotions settle (and only then), gently invite them to talk:

• “What part of it made you most upset?”
• “Were you hoping it would go differently?”
• “What were you looking forward to?”

You don’t need to solve anything; just help them make sense of what they are feeling. This builds emotional awareness and helps them feel heard.

5. Share a Story from Your Own Life

If it feels right, share a simple story about a time you felt disappointed. Keep it short and age-appropriate.

This helps your child feel less alone. It also shows them that disappointment is something everyone goes through and gets through.

6. Talk About What Comes Next (But Only After the Storm Has Passed)

Once they are calm and open, help them think about a next step:

• “Do you want to try again next time?”
• “Is there something we could do differently together?”
• “What might help you feel better right now?”

The goal isn’t to erase the disappointment, but to show them there is always a way forward.

7. Celebrate Their Effort

When they move on or try again, let them know you noticed.

• “I saw how you kept going even though that was hard.”
• “You were really disappointed, and you found a way to keep going.”

Praise their resilience, not just the outcome. That is what builds confidence from the inside out.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

Even with the best intentions, it is easy to fall into a few traps when our children are disappointed. Here are a few common mistakes many of us make (no judgment here) and what to try instead:

1. Rushing to Fix It

When your child is upset, it is natural to want to solve the problem right away. You might say:

• “It is okay; I will talk to the coach.”
• “Let me call and set up another sleepover.”
• “We will buy another one.”

Why it doesn’t help:
Quick fixes may stop the tears for now, but they don’t help your child build the ability to handle frustration or disappointment. They learn that someone else will always swoop in and make things right

2. Minimizing Their Feelings

You might find yourself saying things like

• “It is not a big deal.”
• “There are worse problems.”
• “You are being dramatic.”

Why it doesn’t help:
To your child, it is a big deal. Brushing off their feelings tells them that their emotions are not valid or that they should hide them.

3. Trying to Distract Too Quickly

You might want to cheer them up with treats, screens, or a fun activity. It sounds like

• “Let us go get ice cream; you will feel better!”
• “Forget about it; let us play your favorite game.”

Why it doesn’t help:
Distractions can temporarily shift attention, but if used too quickly, they can teach children to avoid uncomfortable feelings instead of learning to sit with them and move through them.

4. Taking It Personally

Sometimes disappointment looks like anger, blame, or big outbursts, and it is easy to feel hurt or annoyed. Your child might say:

• “You ruined it!”
• “It is your fault I didn’t get to go!”

Why it doesn’t help:
Getting defensive or angry back turns the moment into a power struggle, and your child loses the chance to learn how to handle disappointment with support.

It is Okay to Get It Wrong Sometimes

The truth is, parenting through disappointment isn’t easy. Some days you will rush to fix things too quickly. Other days, you might lose your patience. And that is okay.

What matters most is that your child feels safe being real with you, even when their feelings are big and messy.

When you model your own moments of repair (“I got frustrated earlier, and I am sorry”), you are teaching them something powerful: that it is okay to mess up, and it is even more okay to make things right.

Disappointment is one of those hard but necessary parts of growing up.

So next time your child faces a letdown, take a breath. Lean in. Let the moment be what it is. You don’t need perfect words.

What they will remember is that they didn’t have to face it alone. That it is not about never falling but about knowing they can always get back up, with your hand right there to help them.

You are proud of how caring, thoughtful, and tuned-in your child is. But at the same time, you have probably had moments where you have wondered, “Why is everything such a big deal?” or “Why can’t they just brush it off like other children?”

The truth is, sensitivity is not a weakness. It is a temperament trait, something some children are simply born with. In fact, researchers estimate that about 1 in 5 children is considered “highly sensitive.” They tend to feel things deeply, notice things others miss, and take their time processing the world around them. 

Sensitivity often gets a bad name. People sometimes mistake it for weakness or being too soft. You might even hear well-meaning friends or relatives say things like, “He needs to toughen up,” or “She’s too emotional.” It can leave you second-guessing how you parent.

However, sensitivity is not a flaw. Sensitive children notice more, feel more deeply, and are often more empathetic, creative, and thoughtful than we give them credit for. Yes, they may cry at things other children brush off. Yes, they may take longer to adjust to new situations. But none of that means they are fragile or weak. In fact, when guided with care and understanding, sensitive children can grow into emotionally intelligent, self-aware, and resilient adults.

This post is here to help you see and celebrate your child’s sensitivity for what it truly is: a strength. We will walk through some signs that your child may be highly sensitive and share 5 simple, practical ways you can support them as they grow. 

Before we go into the how-to, let us look at what sensitivity might actually look like day to day so you can better understand your child and what they need from you.

5 Signs Your Child is Sensitive 

Raising a sensitive child starts with understanding what sensitivity actually is and what it is not.

Sensitivity is not about being “soft” or “too emotional.” It is not a problem that needs to be fixed. It is a personality trait that shows up in how deeply a child experiences the world around them: emotionally, physically, and socially. Here are some signs to look out for:

1. Big Reactions to Small Changes
   Your child might burst into tears or shut down completely because their favorite cup is not clean or because you switched up the bedtime routine. These changes may seem minor to you, but to a sensitive child, they can feel overwhelming or even unsafe. They thrive on predictability, and when things shift suddenly, it can throw off their entire emotional balance.
2. Easily Overstimulated by Noise, Crowds, or Busy Places
   Taking them to the market or a loud birthday party might end in a meltdown or clinginess. Sensitive children often struggle with loud sounds, strong smells, bright lights, or crowded environments. Their nervous systems pick up on everything, and it can become too much, too fast.
3. Deep Emotional Responses (Even to Other People’s Feelings)
   You might notice your child tearing up during a movie, or getting upset because someone else got in trouble at school. They often feel things deeply; not just their own emotions, but other people’s too. Sometimes they will worry about things long after the moment has passed, or replay conversations in their mind, wondering if they hurt someone without meaning to.
4. Intense Sense of Fairness and Justice
   Sensitive children often notice when something feels unfair, even if it doesn’t directly affect them. They may get upset when rules are broken or when someone is not being treated kindly. Their empathy runs deep, and they want the world to feel “right.”
5. Needs Time to Warm Up in New Situations
   They might seem shy or withdrawn when meeting new people or trying something unfamiliar. It is not that they are unfriendly, they are just cautious. They take in everything first, think it through, and only step forward when they feel emotionally safe. Forcing them to “just go play” can backfire; what they need is a little time and patience to get comfortable.
   
   

Tips for Raising Sensitive Children

1. Create Predictable Routines and Safe Spaces

Sensitive children often feel things more deeply, and sudden changes or surprises can feel overwhelming to them. that is why having a predictable routine can be a real game-changer. When your child knows what to expect during the day, like when mealtime, homework, playtime, and bedtime happen. it helps them feel safe and secure. This sense of stability lowers their stress and gives them space to focus on learning and growing without feeling on edge.

Try to keep daily routines consistent, but also build in some flexibility. For example, you can have a morning routine that includes waking up, brushing teeth, and having breakfast, but maybe the breakfast menu changes so it is not too rigid. If you know there is a special event or change coming up, talk about it ahead of time. That way, your child won’t be caught off guard.

Safe spaces are just as important. This can be a quiet corner in your home where your child can go when they feel overwhelmed; maybe with soft pillows, their favorite books, or calming toys. Encourage them to use this space whenever they need a little break. 

2. Coach, Don’t Dismiss Big Feelings

Sensitive children feel things in a big way. What seems like “no big deal” to you might feel like the end of the world to them. Maybe they cry when they get a minor correction, or they shut down after a disagreement with a friend. In those moments, it can be tempting to say things like, “you are overreacting,” “it is not that serious,” or “calm down.” But for a sensitive child, those words can make them feel misunderstood or even ashamed of how they are feeling.

Instead of brushing those emotions aside, take a coaching approach. That means guiding them through the moment instead of trying to fix or rush it away. Sit with them. Use a calm voice. You could say something like, “I can see that you are really upset. Let us figure out what is going on together.”

Coaching also means helping them learn what to do with those big feelings. For example, if your child is frustrated because they didn’t win a game, you might say, “it is okay to feel disappointed. That shows you really cared. Do you want to talk about it or take a break first?” Over time, this kind of gentle support helps them build emotional strength, they learn that big feelings aren’t scary or wrong, they are just part of being human.

3. Manage Sensory Triggers Proactively

Many sensitive children have finely tuned “internal antennas.” Loud noises, scratchy tags, bright lights, or strong smells can feel overwhelming, almost like an alarm going off inside their bodies. When that sensory overload hits, meltdowns or sudden withdrawal often follow. The good news is that a little planning can prevent most of those overload moments.

• Notice the patterns: Start by paying attention to when your child seems most unsettled. Is it the bustling market place? The fluorescent lights in a classroom? The itchy label in a new shirt? Keep a mental (or written) note of common triggers. Once you know them, you can plan around them.

• Pack a simple “sensory kit”
  Think of it as a calm-down toolbox you can grab on the go. For many families, this kit might include:

• Small noise-reducing headphones for loud places
• A cozy hoodie or soft blanket for chilly, echoing rooms
• Sunglasses or a cap to dim bright lighting
• Chewy or crunchy snacks (crunching can be soothing)
• A favorite fidget toy or squishy ball for busy hands

Toss these items into a small bag and keep it in the car or by the front door so you are ready whenever you head somewhere stimulating.

• Control the environment when you can: At home, use softer lighting, keep background noise low, and choose tag-free or pre-washed clothing. If a family gathering gets noisy, let your child take mini breaks in a quiet bedroom. At school, talk with the teacher about seating your child away from high-traffic areas or near a window for fresh air. Small adjustments like these can make a big difference.

Managing sensory triggers is not about shielding your child from every discomfort forever. It is about giving their sensitive nervous system time to mature while showing them healthy ways to handle intense sensations.

4. Reframe Perfectionism into Growth

You might notice that your child becomes frustrated when they make a small mistake, or they might avoid trying new things altogether unless they are sure they will succeed. This is usually perfectionism in disguise.

While it may seem like a sign of motivation or high standards, perfectionism can weigh heavily on a child’s confidence and self-worth. That is why helping your child shift their thinking from “I have to get it perfect” to “I am learning as I go” is one of the kindest things you can do.

• Notice when perfectionism shows up: It can look different in every child. Some might crumple up their homework if they get one question wrong. Others might take forever to finish a project because they keep starting over. Some children might freeze completely when faced with a new challenge.When you see it happening, gently name what you are noticing without judgment. You might say, “I see you are really frustrated because that didn’t turn out the way you imagined,” or “It seems like you are being really hard on yourself right now.”

• Celebrate the trying, not just the outcome: Make a habit of praising effort, persistence, and progress rather than perfection. Say things like, “I’m proud of you for sticking with it and not giving up.” This helps your child see that growth is more important than getting it right the first time.
• Share your own imperfect moments: Children learn so much by watching how we respond to our own mistakes. Don’t be afraid to say things like, “I forgot something today, and it was frustrating, but I learned to double-check next time,” or “This didn’t go the way I hoped, but I am glad I gave it a try.”
• Set goals that leave room for learning: If your child has high expectations for themselves, help them break goals into smaller steps and celebrate each one along the way. Instead of “I have to get 100%,” shift the goal to “I want to understand this better than I did yesterday.” That little change in language can reduce pressure and increase confidence.

Perfectionism often grows quietly in sensitive children because they care deeply; about doing well, about what others think, and about making things right. But with support and perspective, they can learn that making mistakes isn’t a failure, it is a powerful way to grow. And when they believe that, they will be more willing to try, take risks, and bounce back stronger.

5. Foster Strengths – Empathy and Creativity

Sensitive children feel deeply, think deeply, and see things others might miss. When you support and nurture these strengths, you help them feel more confident in who they are instead of feeling like they have to "toughen up" to fit in.

Sensitive children often pick up on others’ moods and needs quickly. Instead of trying to shield them from these big feelings, help them understand and manage them. Say things like, “You care so much. It is one of the things I love most about you,” or “It is okay to feel sad when someone else is hurting. That is your kind heart showing.” When children feel seen for their empathy, they begin to see it as a strength too.

Also, many sensitive children express themselves through creative outlets: drawing, writing stories, dancing, music, or imaginative play. This is not just fun for them; it is often how they make sense of what they feel and experience.

Pay attention to what lights them up creatively and give them space and encouragement to explore it. You don’t need to spend a lot of money or push them toward “talent.” Just let them enjoy the process. 

As a parent, one of the best things you can do is remind them: “Being sensitive does not mean you are weak. It means you care, you imagine, you notice. And that is something the world needs more of.”

Raising a sensitive child is not always easy. But it is incredibly meaningful. And while that can make parenting feel like walking a tightrope some days, it also opens the door to a deep and beautiful connection between you and your child.

The world may not always understand their big emotions or strong reactions, but your home can be the safe space where they learn that being sensitive is not a flaw; it’s part of their strength. With your support, they can learn to manage overwhelming feelings, find calm in routines, and express themselves in ways that make them feel empowered.

It is okay if you don’t have all the answers. What matters most is that your child knows you are in their corner. And with that kind of love and support, they will thrive.